About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
