Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
