YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
