so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I would fuck him just for his dog
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
