I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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