Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
