The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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