I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
