My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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