that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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