maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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