i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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