4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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