I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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