you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
