I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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