i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
