Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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