Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
