Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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