this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
