Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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