Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
