u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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