Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
