I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it because I queefed?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize