it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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