The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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