Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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