You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
