I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You made out with two different species that night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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