Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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