So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
