this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
