I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
