Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
