Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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