Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
