Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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