I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
should my penis look like a turkey
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
