Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
