i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
