well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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