no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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