dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
