ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
