why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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