I wish I could teleport
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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