Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
