I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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