Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
