I smell stomach acid.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize