it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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