im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
