There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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