If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
