it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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