There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
