You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
