i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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