Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
