I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
