So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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